if the river was a pond. no, i’m not talking about the nintendo fishing classic. (but it is being revamped for the ds and releasing tomorrow) but internetpunchacon has had some fishing action. onerythym is my spiritual guide. today i made it to level 11. i went from a spinning caster to a spinning reel and i even caught a fish!

other than the great outdoors, we started a group on rock band for the xbox 360. our band is called “time fuxorz” and we are currently in amsterdam on tour. today we also at amazing bbq because this is tennessee and that is what you do here. the pigs were smoked for 12 plus hours then drenched with amazing sauce, and served with baked beans, potato salad, and mac and cheese. magical.

yesterday we saw harold and kumar and that was funny. really silly, but good. then we went to my roommate’s 15 minute b-day party thanks to skype and the webcam. also we had a really weird experience at this chinese place. no matter what we did, pay the bill, say thank you, leave a tip, the lady would not stop standing at our table alternating between saying bye and thank you.

saturday the flying part was pretty chill. slight delay in charlotte, but smooth for the most part. on the connecting flight from richmond, a friend of mine from one of the fm stations in my cluster was also headed for a connecting flight in nc, and then i talked with a psych professor from memphis on my connecting flight. he was a really awesome guy. tomorrow is the zoo.

Jels has been updating a blog all day. He keeps getting cut off, we have been so busy! I am le tired. I beat Jels to the punch (of internet). I posted first! wah ha ha ha~!!!!11!

that’s right, i head out sat for one week of internetpunchacon with onerythym. there will be a whole lot of awesome going on. we might blog about it, if the awesome doesn’t overwhelm us and melt off our faces. nothing could make me more excited. well, maybe a new mgs 4 trailer from japan. not really as good as internetpunchacon, but pretty amazing. maybe talk to you from the road?

i give you the above video. that really happened. the wwe sent out obvious impersonators to have a theoretical wrestling match between the two democratic candidates, only to be assaulted by a samoan mad man. can you imgine what other countries think of us if they see this? as a country, we are a pretty awesome place to live, but we also have a fair amount of baddies that have hurt our rep internationally. not to mention the current administration has made us the butt of most jokes around the world. and then there is this. and now this. prime time wraslin’ between mock candidates on nationally televised prime-time cable. the only thing that could make this worse, would be if the candidates themselves had a part of it….

OH WAIT, THEY DID. and not just the dems. clinton, mccain, and obama all had terribly stiff taped messages that aired on the program where they borrowed the tag lines of many of the popular wrestlers and used them to talk about how they were going to “lay the smackdown.” mccain even used ric flair’s old line, “to be the man, you have to beat the man.” i mean, maybe i missed the point. maybe i’m being too hard on them, but i mean i was in college once and i liked wrestling at one point in my life. a lot. but i never thought, man….if only a politician would go on monday night raw. then i could REALLY relate to them. i want my president in washington, BEING PRESIDENTIAL. just like i want the rock in the ring laying the smackdown. now that i think about it…the rock would probably be a great president, but that is another post for another day. KIDDING. but seriously, if this is what it takes to get votes and to decided who is most suited to be the leader of the free world, well then the free world is in trouble. i mean sure, it’s all in good fun, and i’m being a little over the top in the opposite direction, but ask yourself this: would kennedy have done this? lincoln? washington? well, we all know george washington was a total bad ass. but still, and that’s the bottom line…..ok, i really need to stop.

and totally disconnect and get enchanted by nintendo:

wiimote cufflinks have you nerding out in style!

speaking of wii, mario kart is out for the system and apparently mario is out in new york driving cabs. kotaku has the scoop.

apparently, all that cab driving has given mario serious street-cred over at wonderland. (zomg! i think the medallion is made out of legos!)

and finally, probably the most absolutely amazing nintendo system you will ever see. thanks to gearfuse for this magic.

thanks to t-var for that headline idea, but i guess i should also explain it. so i worked the chili cook-off today for my radio station. it’s a big cluster wide event for all six stations actually, with the new rock station headlining it. it’s pretty basic. it’s at the raceway complex, it has tons of bands, and chili cooks competing, beer and soda and food. my station has a coke tent, where we sling sodas. well, in an effort to lift a bunch of cokes, i hurt my back. pulled a muscle i think, but still, it’s definitley one of those ‘i’m getting old’ things.

regardless, my back pain will not stop this web dump.

first off, the game of chess is like a sword fight. just listen to wu-tang and you’ll know. well now, you can find out the mysteries of chessboxin’ because g4 is reporting that rza has set up wu-tang online chess. bong bong.

ninjas are still first in my life, but robots are a close second. sure they can’t always be trusted, but they can also be awesome. check out this celebrity robot t-shirt over at boing boing.

and finally, a message about roads. roads? where the onion is going…they don’t need any roads.

now, i was initially looking for a picture of danny glover to use in this post, because of his famous line about getting to old in lethal weapon. however, his staring in ‘the royal tenenbaums’ lead me to another photo that inspired me to make a lolcat adaptation. i can has a baumer?

so i never thought i would buy a book because of a trailer, but today i did. i came across this a couple of days ago, but just got around to purchasing it, and also posting it. ‘the secret life of johnny bunko’ actually has a film trailer (posted below). basically it seems like one of those mid-twenties what am i doing with my life type things, but actually in a fun way. not like a dry or boring self-reflective thing written by someone 100 years older than me. not that i read those types of books, but i hear things… anyway, i just got the book today because i got a borders coupon in the e-mail and decided to pick it up. i’ll let you know if it’s good or not in post form when i’m done, but if the creative idea for marketing the book is any indication, it should be great. enjoy the clip.

i am a fan of countdowns. i watch countdown with keith olbermann. the final countdown by europe is totally epic. 24 is all about countdowns and i love that show. well there are two websites out right now, by people i am pretty indifferent about, but i am captivated by their websites because they have clocks which are ticking away to something happening. what things are going to happen? i have no idea, but i want to know.

it’s the same theory that makes us watch deal or no deal. the need to know. the show is really silly and drawn out if you think about it, but what is in that case!?! I HAVE TO KNOW! it’s that theory. so the two people that i’m watching for that very reason are mike huckabee, and the guy that made mortal kombat.

mike huckabee might have failed at his run for president, but his website is ticking down to something tomorrow! considering he and chuck norris were going to put the irs out of business, i am hoping they are either starting a political action group to push for the national flat sales tax, or that they are starting a buddy cop show and/or movie together. either way, i’ll be there tomorrow to find out.

on the other hand, the mortal kombat guy has noob.com and he has something coming later in the week. what? probably another crappy game. i mean, i don’t even know the guy’s name and i want to know what he is going to reveal when the clock hits zero.

honestly, mortal kombat was sort of neat when it came out in middle school and then part two added some other characters to liven things up just a bit. it had crappy fighting, the awe of seeing realistic blood in a game (oh how times have changed), and some shock value finishers which ran their course in a day or so. once those novelties wore off, the game pretty much sucked.

but for some reason, i’m captivated by the anticipation. speaking of countdowns, 12 days until internetpunchacon!

i love spring in the fan. everyone is out and about. afternoon baseball is in full effect. some guys were actually playing horseshoes on the sidewalk up the block. karate kid is on amc. and on the ride home from work i keep seeing girls in dresses on beach cruisers. for the win.

however, i do not have an ikea furnished subway car like they do over in japan. gizmodo has the full feature. happy spring!

that’s right. i’m headed off to see onerythym in late april and it should be an awesome time of video games, movies, internet punching, eating, legos, ninjas, and pretty much everything else we like. an announcement of that magnitude calls for a web dump.

first we head to japan because, well, when it comes to video games, they are awesome. and while i really had no idea what this game was, that doesn’t make “Tottado! Yowiko no Mujintou Seikatsu!” for the ds look any less amazing. i’ve never bought a game just because of it’s cover, but i might have to after i hit up play-asia.com and read this description:

Play this hilarious survival game as with the comedian pair Yowiko, consisting Hamaguchi and Arino. With a 150 grams of flour and bottles of sauces and spices Hamaguchi and Arino set off to challenge living at a deserted island in their TV program “Yowiko’s 0 yen deserted island lifestyle”. This program is now made into a game on your DS. Assign tasks for the pair, like gathering food and building shelter. Watch the hilarious scenes unfold before your eyes by a flick of your DS stylus.

magical.

in movie news, johnny 5 is still alive? variety has the latest input on a possible re-make.

over at the wonkette, they point out the fine work being done by the washington times. in the latest internet punch poll, we found out stating the obvious was really easy.

and in close, thanks to these cool camera glasses from boing boing, you can pull off some cool spy stuff AND look like your favorite tv bounty hunter at the same time.

sorry the blog has been still lately. the batman awesomeness deserved it’s time at the top. and despite the timing. now it wasn’t an april fools joke, just like i don’t wear halloween costumes to work, or say things like “workin hard or hardly workin?”. lt. gordon is calling people i know, and the joker is leaving them presents. even if digg wasn’t interested.

so anyway it was a really busy weekend of working some OT and strange parties. i won’t go into details but there is a nasty rumor that i might have sang karaoke. strangers in the night by frank sinatra is the alleged choice. all of this is hearsay because i have a strict personal rule: i don’t do karaoke. i don’t like watching it, hearing it, and wouldn’t ever CONSIDER singing it.

so these lies must stop. sure, there may be several “witness accounts,” but their credibility will be called into question. all 15 to 20 of them, most of which i call friends, and a very few who are close to me, and one who happens to be one of my nearest and dearest. it saddens me that they have all turned into malicious liars now.

becuase i simple can not and would not allow my self to do karaoke. and i know what you are thinking. you read this site and with the video games, and films, and music, and anime and….omg that is why girls don’t like me. well between all of my interests that are shared with much of japan’s pop culture, karaoke and i go our separate ways when departing tokyo.

and there may be some pictures that pop up on facebook or some other social networking site that harbors lies. but if i am seen with my mouth open, i must have been laughing. if there is a mic in my hand, i must have been holding it for someone. or maybe given my audio technology background, something was wrong and i was fixing it for those people who do partake in that awful, awful, habit.

now in the event that i was drugged or somehow coerced into participation of the said karaoke event, then i must apologize to two people that i look up to a lot. so IF, these horrid lies come true by some terrible circumstance that made me unaware of what i was doing…well anthony bourdain and henry rollins, i’m sorry.